Then I Came Home

Does distance really make things more difficult for two people? or does it just prove the strength of them? I have been fighting and trying to see how strong I am in my relationship for two and a half years (mostly long distance). Everything that first year seems to shine so bright, gleaming with a mocking pride onto the other years that follow. Everything that year had so much thought, and even the arguments were thoughtful; 'How do I say this one thing, without hurting your feelings, but still conveying mine?' Now we seem to just splash everything everywhere, not caring as much where it's going to land. I swore to myself many times, before I even could picture myself in a realtionship, that I wouldn't ever become the girl that stayed in, just out of fear or comfort. But when do you know you're just sticking around? How do you know you should put those big gloves down, let your muscles relax, and let go of the weight you have been lifting, the one that becomes heavier each round...

More festive nights, this time Bang bang!

Last night I dreamt that I was in a bathroom watching TV with three other people and in burst these four men. One was yelling at the girl that was to my left telling her to change the channel. But there was no remote for the screen, so we couldn't change the channel. He grew more agitated when this was explained, so he pulled out a gun. He said he wanted to see how good his aim was and he began shooting in my direction. I was able to shut the door but one bullet made its way through and hit me in the stomach.

I woke up

Four walled Nightmares

I keep having nightmares. I am being chased in a building and there is nothing I can do but run. There is a man that is after me and he is trying to kill me, or someone I care about. There was a man in a suit that was trying to kill my brother in my last nightmare. I was trying to help my brother by distracting the man, but he somehow knew where my brother had escaped to.
I really wish that I knew what this meant. I can't remember my nightmare from last night. I do know that there was a lot of blood. I am always in a building of some sorts. Maybe I should stay away from small buildings with people I don't know well.

The week comes to an end.

I had my last final yesterday, and my final on Tuesday was surprisingly easier than I had thought it was going to be.
I am leaving to go home tomorrow and I haven't even begun packing. I don't want to think about having to do it.
My stomach has been hurting all day.
I think its because I just want to go home.

Wake up

Last night I dreamt that I only had a week for my semester break.
I kept crying over and over again. I couldn't believe that I was only getting a week to relax after all of the work that I had to do for my classes.

I woke up.

Dents and hysteria

This morning I woke to a woman outside screaming as if though she was being chased by a bear. I listened to her scream for a few minutes before I looked out the window to see what was going on.
She was crying and running around her car, which had just been dented. She looked fine considering she was running and her vocal chords were in perfect condition. "Oh my GOD! what am I going to do!??!?" She just kept asking the person on the other end (whom I imagined to be her mother, someone who has had to deal with her hypersensitive over-reactive daughter many times.)
I may or may not have felt badly about the whole situation.

Houses I don't know

This was what I would consider my first official weekend of the year. I had copious papers to write, and I decided that I would much rather go to parties in houses that I didn't know.
I went to Wegmans with a boy that I'm not really sure about. He and I have only briefly spoken and it usually isn't about anything worth discussing. We went to a party that night, he told me he liked me the next day. I think its because I am the only girl that has talked to him.
The next night I went to a dance party and saw too many things at once, and danced a little too hard. I wanted to smile the whole night, and I was successful in my attempt.
I am trying to now finish all of the last few things that I need to do before tomorrow. The people that live above me are constantly stomping around and it sounds like they will fall on my head. I wonder what they do up there. I hope they are dancing with each other, and getting really excited about everything.